Wednesday, December 3

So what's plan B?

Sometimes all you can do is keep wondering where life is taking you ..Nothing comes out of despair and panic ..Planning has never worked for me.Neither has worrying about things not happening.

PointA to Point B to Point C .. all looks nice on paper .. but seldom happens in reality. Infact, in my case , it never happens that way. and i have to program myself to like Point A to point Z, neverthless.

Success is such a nebulous term.I still havent figured out the real meaning of this million dollar word.In the last 7 odd years of my life , my career has always taken the front seat. Now, i realise i have lost a lot ,running behind something so elusive , that all i have now is this empty , hollow feeling in my gut. 7 years and what next ?.

I am as clueless as i was when i started this journey.This time around , though i
have started believing in destiny more than ever and not fighting it with every fibre of my being...It's frustrating. It's scary.This passivity is freaking me out.

.. All i can do is go with the flow and hold on to myself.

Life is definately a roller coaster.One minute you are revelling in the dizzying heights life takes you to and the next minute you plummet to the nadirs of darkness with fear gripping every fragment of your soul.I guess, i will have to enjoy the adrenaline rush,now that i can't help feeling the way i am.

and yeah , there is no plan B..

18 comments:

myheadtrip said...

Yeah planning has never worked for me either. I am on the other end of the spectrum though as you know. Almost 8 years of sitting at home, now trying to get employed.
Guess, life never works out the way we want it to (forget plan :))Bring clueless is part of the game. Weird though that just going with the flow even is called fighting it, and sometimes it is said that you are doing nothing toward fighting it.
Success - the illusion, the definition eludes me too. Pass on the gyaan if you get any :D

Nautankey said...

My Plan B was always my plan A bcoz Iw was confident that Plan A WILL fail :)...And success!! seriously think its the most abused word..everytime i achieve something which i think is success, I realize the scale has gone higher :(...2 years back thought gettin 46acs p.a was success as some classmates where getting that..when i did get there the moved to 8 lakhs per annum..so have stopped keeping scales for success. Now its more like if i am able to hangon in a job thats success!!..keeping the scales low does yelp a lot u know :).

Praddy said...

I have never planned much in my life or my career, it just happened by itself :P I just take whatever comes or whatever is offered to me :)

But the inly thing i plan is the shows we do, but its always the plan B which works and never the plan A :P

Writing for Crows said...

LOL. nice post.

Bedazzled said...

Aparna...Gyaan .. ahem well .. will do if i do get it !!

Vinod ..that happened to me in the early phases of my career also .. i was always comparing my salary with classmates ..maybe i shud have low expectations .. but then i have always been overly critical of myself .. so i guess i dont know how to lower those expectations..

Bedazzled said...

Prads.. atleast u plan your shows ;-)

WFC.. thanx for dropping by.

Smita said...

Am too late I know but here I am :)

Just go with the flow, let life take its own course but yes do what u believe in and everything will be ok :)

Take care dear...I can understand wt u r going thru as I too am going thru that...

Writing for Crows said...

You are welcome. Nice blog here, you know.

vimmuuu said...

You have been awarded and tagged :

http://vimalsparadise.blogspot.com/2008/12/couldnt-come-up-with-title.html

Bedazzled said...

smitha .. hey thanks yaar.. you are a sweet (lil??) thing .. i am going with the flow .. lets see where that takes me ;-).. i hope things r back on track in mumbai ..

WFC.. hee hee ..I am not going to say thanx as u will have to say welcome again .. ;-).. and this will go on the japanese way ..btw why crows?

Vimmuuu.. nice to c u back. And thanx for the award..ah tag !!! u mean , mean boy ;-) ..all's well at home ?

Writing for Crows said...

Oh come on, its not that bad is it. You say thank you, I say you are welcome. You say no really, I say .. that goes.

btw. I'm not all into the Japanese way really. I'm more on the path to Cilappatikaram and Tolkappiyam, although I'd have to start with learning to read and write the language. ;-)

vishesh said...

belief :) and hope :) and love :)

Bedazzled said...

WFC.. u make silapadigaram (cilappatikaram!! hee hee)sound like some exotic latin beauty ...

Vishesh .. thanks for dropping by .. yeah ,hoping.. thats all i can do now..

vimmuuu said...

Plans--it never worked for me. Whatever Im today is because of an unplanned life!! I cant say Im successful, but Im very much contended with the way my life is.dont worry you will be just fine. you are going through a confused phase and Im sure you will come out of it.

Btw, I have a plan B for you. Buahahahahahaha!!!!

Just call me 'A' said...

exactly my sentiments. i like to think that everything is going according to my plan A, B and C but if i did a reality check i would be in plan X and i won't even realize it sometimes.

Bedazzled said...

Vims... Buahahahahahaha!!! thanx..

A..ha ha ha.. Good thing u dont realise that u r on plan X.. sometimes not knowing something is better than having a 100% comprehension of truth ..

Smita said...

A sweet little surprise for you here..

http://books-life-n-more.blogspot.com/2008/12/when-its-khiccdi-post.html

avdi said...

Sigh.... I have been feeling the same lately. In fact that Sigh was a long drawn shuddering sound.

Sometimes I just want to run away to the hills (or the beach) and live like a monk in a kurta and a begging bowl.

Why do we pile up so much around us in life? When the wise ask us to live light?