Sunday, November 29

Yeah,husbands are like that !!

When it rains,it pours..i was just referring to my verbal diarrhea these days.I realized a few days back that its been a while since i had a decent dig at the Hubby on the blog and promptly decided to remedy the situation..Hence this post.. what purpose do husbands serve, if they are not made fun of in their Wife's blogs??..

Our man, now ,is a great shopper. He has a great Shopper's acumen and knows exactly what the wife wants for birthdays,anniversarys and assorted other "wannabe" occasions like Valentines day,Wife's day,Children's day (!!)and so forth ..Now, what more can a woman want??..except that she would have preferred a perfume instead of a copy of "Terrorism in Srilanka and it's sociological implications"!. Sociological implications -my left foot !!. How is that even remotely related to my birthday??.
Reminds me of times when i have recycled gifts (totally inappropriate ones like -wall clock for a 14 year old and jewel box to a guy !!) to unsuspecting souls just because someone else recycled it and dumped it on me .. Think of the life cycle of such recycled gifts .. fascinating ,i say !!. and yeah, i know what you are thinking .. i am shameless !!..I know a lot of you reading this post are shameless as well !!!own up,people!

Hubby is a sharp fellow otherwise.. He has some fancy degrees and all. He even claims to have a decent IQ(not that i verified it before deciding to tie the knot!) .. but when it comes to the gifting department he is like a toddler with a teething trouble .. umm,so the terrorism debacle was a few years back..Last year,he gets smart and buys me collected works of Roald Dahl ..I was impressed .. Now, i wouldn't say that i am too much into the Roald Dahl genere of writing .. but, i was flattered that he bought me something which i would someday consider reading and the only purpose of that book would not be furthering hubby's library collection.. So i sweetly tell him thanx and all .. and he tells me " yeah,that's ok.. i just wanted to buy that book for myself ,you see. One stone,2 birds". Gosh, this man is unstoppable !!!

So, every time some occasion looms in the horizon, i tell him beforehand what i want , lest i end up with books on apartheid,sociological implications of organic farming and other "really important issues" that plague the world ,as he puts it. I am content reading about Becky's adventures (should i say misadventures??)in Shopping and other mind numbing literature..In fact,we have agreed on separate libraries when we move into our house next year.. Can't imagine what my copy of pride and predujice would feel sitting next to " Banker to the poor" and books like that..What a sham(e)!!

Whenever hubby travels, he is often bombarded with requests for liquor from shameless people. Our home,on weekends is a glorified TASMAC for some really sad( read shameless) souls who think that it's cool to discuss materialism & jaded lives with a glass of bootlegged liquor or sometimes, local toddy.We lead such sad lives !!!. yeah,judge us !.. So this time, i preempted all the other drunkards and told hubby to get us an Absolut and "something else that's not a tequila"..Little did i realize that i had made the biggest mistake in my drinking history..So, I am all excited when he comes into town expecting some exotic drink which i haven't tried before and he proudly tells me " I bought that absolut you asked for and guess what else.. a bottle of tequila !!! .. Arent you proud of me ?? ". Oh, yeah, i am !!. You are priceless. We just happen to have 2 unfinished bottles of tequila which nobody even wants to touch... I am soo glad that this 3rd bottle of tequila is going to join those 2 other poor basta*$ and age away to glory.. We will probably have it for our 50th anniversary.. Then, he wouldn't have to look for a book & can gift me this famed bottle of tequila !! smarrt booy!!! i knew i married right !!.. 2 birds,one stone, again !

Moral of the story- Never let the hubbies take any decision... they r not built to handle all that jazz!!..Thrust your decision on the man and don't take no for an answer. Sulk and pout ,if you have to.. whatever works for you ,gurls!!.. and secondly, I have realized that fact that the attention span of a male(especially the married variety) is 2 seconds.. cram in all the information in those 2 seconds..It doesn't really help if Katrina kaif is sashaying in the background,though!! .. Husbands,i say !!


Ketan said...

LOL! Funny!

Yeah, 'onlookers' always find such things funny!

What if your hubby doesn't get your sarcasm reading this post, and feels encouraged to buy you precisely the same kind of gifts he's been buying? /:)

Also are you sure, when when he gifted you that 'terrorism in Sri Lanka and its sociological implications', he wasn't being kind of allegorical, as in he felt your house was like Sri Lanka, and he was the society, and you were the t... err... err... let's leave it that, I guess. ;) Your hubby would be in the best position to explain. >:D

And I want the link to your hubby's blog!!!

I'm sure he must have some complementary complimentary things to say about you! :P

Plus, your this post gives me a pretty good idea if marrying is a good idea or not (it is not!!!). And I got one more idea that if and when I have a(?) wife, she must never get an idea of this post of yours! :-SS


Spencer L Casey said...

We're not all terrible gift-givers, you know. I even did the 12 days of X-mas one year for my love. I do, however, have a BIL who has given gifts like tic-tacs and recipe cards to his bride. Home run!

Renu said...

very iceone:)and I totally agree to that hubbies arelike that:)

chitz said...

good one..i feel it the most when he does dress shopping for once in a blue moon,hubbys can accidently gift you the right ones..:)

Bedazzled said...

ketan..oh,yeah the hubby knows about this post .. he would be surprised if there wasn't any sarcasm in it .. all said and done a lil exaggeration here and there just adds spice !! nope,he does not have a blog..wish he did then we could have blog wars !! he does drop in to read the comments so he knows that eh has an empathiser !.. This post is no indication of what marriages are like .. its a lot of fun having him around and all this is written in jest !..

Spencer.. i know.. a lot of men are good gift givers.. just that this one is not! recipie cards and tic tacs sound like fun .. seriously !! i would love gifts like that.. not very expensive ,but shows the thought that goes in to it!

Renu.. thanks !! hee hee .. i am sure most ladies would agree !!

chitz.. welcome here .. don't even get me started on dress shopping !!!..yeah blue moons do happen !!

Sorcerer said...

that was hilarous..
stumbled across your blog

bookmarked it..
thanks for the nice read :)

Divya said...

Tsk tsk :P
Books are a brilliant gift though. Sri Lankan War though? Hmm...
Roald Dahl is plain brilliance, you MUST read :)

Poor hubby.. whats his reaction to this post? Make him comment na.

vimmuuu said...

Now ,I would want to listen to his version of this story too !! :D :D :D

Btw, tequila or shakeela, dont you think you are way tooooo old for all that paatti ??? :D :D :D :D :D

Angel's Flight said... my friend are hilarious...and very insightful :D

Bedazzled said...

sorcerer..thanx for dropping by and bookmarking my space.. hope to see you more often here !

divya.. oh,yeah , they are ..i love books !!.. actually, i think most people missed the whole point of the post !! .. it was an exercise is exaggeration @@.. have asked hubby to respond as we'll have some more kind words from him ;-)

Vimmu.. yeah ,yeah .. he'll comment .. no more digs at my age !!!

Shalini.. thanx,babe ! u r kind words are .. ahem .. too kind !! ;O

Anonymous said...

I love hubby-bashing posts. They entice me to write a post on men and women, on relationship advice and the good qualities of beer :)

Thinkala said...

I couldn't agree more! Each time mine accompanies me for shopping, he'd point out stuff that would make me cringe. And each time I remind him NOT to buy anything for me without me around - screw surprises! I'd prefer none to bad ones :D

Bedazzled said...

nikhil.. there u go again .. love doktor,right ?? trips with the boy are just like me shopping alone.. he promptly find a chair to occupy his rear and gets busy calling people .. the shopping gene,somehow missed the bus when god created him..

Deeps said...

"I have realized that fact that the attention span of a male(especially the married variety) is 2 seconds.. " Oh yes,esp when you've had a nasty fight,your husband blurts out all that he wants to and just vanishes..while you are left sitting there fuming & prepping up all your dialogues that you can give right back at him...and then he is back with his funniest persona as though nothing happened..grrrr

Smita said...

ROFL!!! That is so typically Maleish thing!! They will always buy things that they can use!!!

They need to be house trained! Period!!!

Bedazzled said... true!!! i think all hubbys are clones of each other .. my practiced dialogues always go waste !!

smita.. most of them dont understand that gift giving is an art !!! definitely have to be house-trained !!