Tuesday, January 27

Half time, now ..

Been in weird doldrums for a while
Dont really know why
Going to be off for a bit - someplace far far away
In no-man's land
Just my feelings and me
Know not what i am gonna do
Maybe contemplate, maybe galavant around
Need to figure out some stuff
Strange happenings, alien feelings and negative vibes

Living a half life, smiling half a smile
life sure is stranger than fiction
Different shades of people and human emotions
The river is shallow and navigatable but the ocean is deep and dark
Dont know which is more dangerous
Do i plunge into the darkness or stay safe at the river ?

Bedazzle needs to get back her spunk and life
She will return when she has answers to questions
At the other end of the tunnel when she has found what she wants to find
Its half time now
She is back in hibernation ..
and Time out for now

Alvida ..Stay safe and beautiful

Friday, January 23

Tis raining Frauds ..

Most of yesterday was spent trying to reach the marketing office of a fairly "reputed" builder with who we had booked a flat almost a year back .. till date the only sign of progress in the project is that they have heaped up bricks near the site .. So we decided to pull out a month back and have been trying to get in touch with the booking office, but in vain .. the lady who sold us the apartment plays stupid tricks like not picking calls when we call from our mobiles, but miraculously picks up when hubby called from landline ..Gosh , what frauds!!..
nyways, since we have the necessary papers in place , taking them to task should not be difficult ..

I was reminded of a fraud i narrowly missed getting associated with in my professional life .."The case of Idea Group" ..I was in abu Dhabi working with a consumer durables company and was in their corporate sales division selling office equipment. This was my first job and i had no experience in dealing with frauds !! The said "idea group"(on hindsight .. the name is so ironic !! sadistic humour of the fraudsters, i say !!)neatly conned a lot of people into a lot of money.. One fine day , on my regular cold calling beat , i discovered this new office.. surprisngly , the receptionist let me also see the procurement manager, a lebanese, in my first call .. i was elated and zapped .. In my 4 month experience in the industry , nobody had let me see the procurement mgr in the first call .. but then in my elation, i didnt give too much importance to the weirdness of the situation..

To my huge surprise , the company was supposedly opening a retail outleat and they wanted quotes from me for several machines..and if it did come thru , it would have been the biggest ever deal for not only me , but my entire division.. i was thrilled beyond belief ..I followed this up by bringing my boss , his boss and several other bosses , just to make sure that the commercial terms were appropriate.. none of them actually found any problem with the company .. the only hitch was that they needed credit and we didnt give credit to companies without a credit record.. but it was a routine issue which could be circumvented with necessary approvals.. the company i worked for wasnt very professional ... they were more concerned abt competition bagging the project rather than making safe decisions..

My location head decided to go ahead with 20% advance and rest after 30 days and i went up to give the revised quote ..the procurement mgr seemed a lil flustered and she almost shooed me out .. there also seemed to be unusually high activity that day .. while i was stepping out , an indian who worked at an office bang opposite to Idea group called me aside. This was the first time i had ever seen him.. He told me that he had seen me come here couple of times and asked me to go easy on the company as there were many suspicious things happening on the premises . He also told me that many russian and lebanese women kept visiting the place at weird hours..And he told me all this because he didnt want a fellow indian to get into their web !!.. that's what he told me ..;-)

I promptly reported back to my bosses on what the guy told me.. strangely it felt like an oracle !! . my boss was a little vehement about not going slow , but then said ok when the big bosses veteoed their disapproval ..the procurement lady kept calling me and i kept dilly dallying abt availability of machines and similar stupid reasons .. ..An invitation for opening of the showroom appreared a week later and we were a lil dejected thar we weren't going to be part of the success of "idea group"..after a while the calls stopped and all of us got on with out lives

.. until one day.. when i got to office .. everyone is talking about "the idea group" and how they ran away with machines worth millions of dirhams ...the showroom had never opened ... i thanked my oracle - that indian guy for saving me from the clutches of "idea group" .. WOW!! narrow escape .. later my boss went on a self congragulatory mode saying that he knew there was something wrong with that company and thats why he didnt go ahead.. the jerk !!!..

nyways ..later i did get to know that this company had defrauded several times in the past and eventually the machines ended up in places like Sudan where people didnt give a fiddlers beep whether the machines were stolen..The emirates is a very dicey place, i learned.. huge scamsters prowled the markets trying to bait unsuspecting trainees like me..later when i got into banking , i realised everywhere its the same story .. makes me wonder abt the very nature of human beings and gets me a little disillusioned... dishonesty and one-upping behaviour rules the roost.. lives have become so complicated, greed rules the roost and simple things in life dont matter much to us..Things that people do in the name of money(and power!!).. all this shakes my idealism a little bit ..but deep down i feel that everything will get better soon ..Human beings will redeem themselves someway ..

Sunday, January 18

The pyramid of differential status

The theory of differetial status
- by Dr. Bedazzled

I had this brilliant insight at 3:00am this morning.. alcohol aided , of course!!.. that the only differentiating parameter among human beings is alcohol!!.. I know its really insigtful so take some time to let it sink in .. so, based on what you drink , you r socially stratified..

So , on top of the pyramid-of-differencial-status are the i-love-wine-with-gouda-cheese people.. Snobs who will look down upon anyone profusing love for vodka or any of the lower-strata intoxicant.. These are the people who will wave lectures on cultures on your face and secretly pick their noses when u r not watching!!so why are they on top of the pyramid, you may ask ? .. well ... you'll have to figure than one out yourself !! hee hee

Next level on the pyramid are the black label and johhy walker swiggers.. Now, this is a really dicey level because you have a variety of people peacefully coexisting with each other.. u have the noveau rich,who flaunt their finely-developed-whiskey-taste along with people who normally belong to a lower rung on the pyramid , but get upgraded during long airline flights, when they gulp down anything that remotely has 1% of alcohol(these are the kinds that will drink methanol in a chemistry lab because of its close association with alcohol . You may also find boys trying desperately to be men and uncles trying desperately to remember their youth in this category..

Moving on.. the next level is the most common and frankly I think I belong in here.. The-vodka gulpers … yay!! We are the most interesting,fun and witty people to be with .. we don’t mind being sissy and have no shame in downing normally-girly drinks like stolchanaiya rasberry flavoured vodka .. we rock !!!!.. There are quite a few men in this category .. a lot of blacklabel and johnny walker dudes are closet vodka gulpers !!!

Ah, the next level.. there are 2 schools of thought on this.. one school says that this category should be mariginally higher than vodka gulpers and another (like me) that thinks that this groupis slightly inferior to the vodka dudes.. this level belongs to the tequila-shot,jelly-shot immediate-gratification fraternity.. and this need for mind numbing asap-pleasue seeking behaviour puts them on the lower level.. these guys are some of the drunkest-lewd-jackass joke cracking folk in history..

At this point I need to clarify that gender biases might peep into your mind while reading this .. but no , my clasification is not gender biased .. a dude/dudette can belong to any level, irrespective of cliches associated with that level ..
Coming down to the next level you have the pink-cocktail-drinking crowd .. I have nothing to say to you people.. you are social pariahs !!..

Omg, I left out the i-love –tasmac-and-kothu-parotta crowd .. do u think they should be on top of our pyramid ?? .. help me perfect my theory .. !!

Now, my theory can also segregate people according to the reaction after 3 pegs of alcohol

The steady -let the earthquake hit , i'll still be here guys.. that unwaveringly gulp down gallons of alcohol without even batting an eyelid ..I know it's taken years of heartbreaks,loser-behaviour to get where you have ..strangely u rock !!

Next come The dancing dudes and divas.. it takes great guts to dance to chumbawamba when your body is conspiring against you to throw up every bit of your morning’s breakfast and nuts you have been injesting with the alcohol!! .. I have great respect for you, guys

Then come The hicuppers and snorers.. the former are definitely better than the latter in my books as hicuppers are awake .. unlike snorers who bailout shameleslly ..

Next come The weird-ranters..you carry too much emotional baggage and lots of sissy-behaviour charecteristics .. shame on you!! You probably do this because nobody will listen to you in a un-inebriated state..

The rock bottom of weasly behaviour belong to The pukers.. all I can tell you people is .. clean your own puke , fellas .. and go easy on the biriyani after getting sloshed..

So where do you fit in my pyramid ???

Sunday, January 11

How much love is ok ???

ok .. this is the first post of this year (Applause !!).. was not in a frame of mind to blog before .. but the weekend has been good and i am more or less back to old self..weird me is backkk !!!

something's been nagging me for quite sometime(more like a decade) and i needed to get an answer ... once and for all !!!

Ah the story goes like this .. there is this guy .. lets call him AK and his lovely sister M.. lets call her MASK( M, sister of AK , of course !!! ) .. now MASK and AK are the picture perfect brother-sister tag team in the entire world .. before AK sneezes , MASK gets out the tissues , vicks dabba and crocin tablets.. similarly before MASK sheds a solitary tear, AK tears up for the sister and flexes his muscles in anticipation of some guy ditching the sister .. since i was a witness to all the drama from very close quarters , i was privy to some facets of AK-MASK relationship , which till date i think is weird .. now u will have to help me decide who is more weird .. AK-MASK tag team or your's truly .. ok, let me get to the point

AK was roughly 19 and MASK was 24-25 give or take 1-2 years ( this was almost a decade ago) .. One day yours truly spied (yes spied!!!) on MASK's email to Ak and AK's reply to the mail..and what i read took my breath away ... hold u r breath,guys .. the 3 words !!! "i love u ".. wow, do 19 year olds say " i love you" to their sisters ?? the mail also rambled and meandered for 2500 words brimming with more mushy and utterly sappy stuff like "you are the best brother anyone could ever have " and stuff in similar vein ...Initially i thought this was a classic-chronic case of incest .. but then some other sources(reliable ones at that ) told me that it that wasn't so .. !!!

Ever since i stumbled on this earth shattering mail , i have put AK-MASK on "weirdo-alert" and run a mile away when i see either of the two(not that i bump into them too often) .. well, the latest on this lovely saga is that AK-MASK still haven't changed ,.. they still leave each other mushy .. i miss u and i wanna hug u badly type messages on public domain (the likes of orkut and FB)

At times i wonder whether it is me who is weird .. whats wrong in a 19 year old guy saying i love you to his sister ? another part of me says that i am right(as usual !!)

guys .. say it's not normal.. please !!!! please !!!!