Wednesday, March 25

The Game of Life ..

If you thought this was going to be a serious post cos of the title ..think again .. No way !!! I am battling this horrendous writer's block , so It's old post time !!...

This is the tale of my illustrious real estate career and assorted other interests.. In my humble opinion, I've built them all …libraries, workshops, ramblers (have to look up that word in the dictionary), colonial homes, estates, coffee shops and parks. After a lot of hard work, I've raked in a colossal $ 10,201,400.
Do I smell something burning??

Now, that's easily my career best. Well, I've been practicing becoming a real estate tycoon by playing "Build a Lot" lately. And it's taken me almost a week to perfect the game with the kinds of odds against me.. For starters, I can get only one hour free trial download from each gaming site.

Then there is a problem of finding enough sites that have thisgame. I've reached a point where I have downloaded every free trial available on the internet for this game. I've also used 4 other email addresses and 2 other computers… and now I don't have any other option, but to buy this game.. Now, that's bit of a problem,cos my
credit and debit cards are all gone , thanx to my shopoholic nature ..

Similarly I've scrounged the net for several other no-brainer games..What I am about to share with you are rare gems of wisdom, which ideally would have been handed down to my daughters , their daughters, their sons and so forth …But since I happen to be this really generous and nice person, I have decided to share my secret de-stressing
no-brainer free games on the net. Nothing is more enriching (?) and rewarding (?) than these games at the end of a stressful dog-eat-dog day in the merciless corporate world.

Read on.. You can thank me later…

My top-5 no-brainer type Net games..

No 5. Hidden objects mysteries games where amongst an assortment of junk, we need to find an apple or a knife or something hideous like a missing tooth. I've never actually solved any mystery completely though ,cos i guess the gaming companies would go out of business if they let me do the entire investigation(read as find all then arcane,mundane,stupidly concealed objects) in one hours time.

No 4. Noah's ark type stuff.. Actually I don't remember the name of the game, as I had started my gaming career with this amateurish game where similar looking animals have to be linked up by creepers before the water fills up the ark …Don't miss this game cos it has the most adorable pigs and hippos in town..;-)

No 3. Bejeweled type games.. Where you have nice, popping, colorful gems that go "clink,clink ,clink" when you make clusters out of them... This game is as arbitrary and random as games can get. It does also give you a sense of achievement of deftly letting the gems go "clink ,clink, clink". In reality, most of the "clink, clink, clink" is not in your control- It happens quite randomly...Nice music though,
especially the "clink, clink, clink" sound.

No 2. Monopoly type games.. Nothing like plain vintage monopoly for expensive time pass like buying up Newyork city or building 3 houses on California ...

And No 1 , as you would have guessed already would definitely go to Build a Lot type games where unlike in real life I am actually a multi-millionaire.

Through these games you can also get to do a lot of things you can't be in real life. I've been a Wedding planner, Cook, investigator, ancient traveler in second century BC, rich tycoon at the roulette table or a Restaurateur.. Just name it and I've done that. Plus If I have a not-so great gaming session, I can always get back the next day and do the same level again. Just save the game and get back when
things are a lot better… That's my take away from all the mindless gaming I've been indulging in… If today's not your day, come back tomorrow and take on life from where you left it…

"Alt F –S" and "Alt F- X" today, if you are down
Double click game of life tomorrow at dawn
And live happily ever after…

Ps: Since i am bankrupt(also read jobless), please donate money to help me buy
build-a-lot on the internet.$ 6.99 only and you can bring back happiness into my life ..You can transfer the money to ABN Amro A/c ***********1908 .. Thanks in
anticipation ;-)

Wednesday, March 11

Das Ka So!

I think this is the shortest title ever in the history of this blog ..
The other day we were really bugged sitting at home and wanted to catch a movie badly. As usual , we always feel this way at the eleventh hour and being a Saturday , we had no illusions of getting a ticket. So, we saunter into Inox , find the booking counter omniously crowded and almost give up on getting a ticket , when this decent looking gentleman(we’ll call him Ramu) comes up to us strikes up a conversation with hubby .

Ramu: Saar, you want tickets ?
Saar: Yeah !!!! .. Do you have tickets ?
Ramu: Yes Saar. 100 rupees per ticket
Saar: Isn’t the ticket 120 bucks? How come you are selling for 100 bucks ?
Ramu: Illa Saar(No, Sir), 10 rupee ticket for 100
Saar:Too much. I am going to be sitting in the 2nd row and paying 100 bucks .. 80 bucks ok ?
Ramu : No saar, I have other customers. 90 bucks. Final.
Saar: Ok , Fine . I’ll Take it . But, won’t the seats be too uncomfortable?
Ramu: No Saar. The seats are similar to 120 bucks seat. 1st 2 rows have to be sold at 10 rs as per government regulations.
Saar: Oh, ok! Tell me something,how did you get 10 rupee tickets?
Ramu: I come here at 5 in the morning to buy all the tickets for the day.
Saar: Oh ok .. Happy selling.

Later when we discussed about Ramu’s business model,what we stumbled upon had us gasping for air. Let me elaborate..

First a few assumptions(which might be true also .. but our calculations are approximate!)

- Assume that there are 2 rows of 10 seats each in a theatre. That gives us 20 seats
- Assume that there are 5 screens
- Assume that there are 4 shows for each screen

That gives us a total of 20*20(400) tickets to be sold in a day.
Now each ticket costs 10 bucks .

Outflow for Ramu (if he buys all tickets) : Rs. 4000

If Ramu sells a ticket for 80 bucks(avg out ) , his inflow will be 80*400 = 32000 bucks

Assuming that Ramu operates on 60% capacity, he will manage to get 0.60*32000 = 19,200 bucks. Ramu probably has to pay of people and lets assume that 30% of daily earnings is paid off as bribes .That leaves Ramu with 13,440 bucks .
Even if Ramu works for 3 days (Fri-sat –Sunday), his earnings for the week would be 40,320 bucks. That’s 1,61,280 bucks per month . Tax Free dough!

Even if Ramu does get hauled by the police for selling black tickets, he would have to pay 25-30k for bail and will still clear over a lakh a month !.

How do u like Ramu’s business model ? I heard he is selling rights for the Wednesday and Thursday slots .. any takers?

Idea Copyrights owned by Bedazzled and HooHaaHaa.Royalty(10% of net earnings) to be paid to copyright owners if anyone becomes Ramu's associates. ;-)

Thursday, March 5

Dude,where is u r underwear ?

I dont understand most Art. The other day a friend was
trying to explain Importance of cubism in the History of Art and its
ramifications on Indian Culture..The only word i understood was Picasso.. I am so Culture-challenged!!.

The closest i have come to appreciating and reproducing art was when i traced out a picture(using butter paper!!) for my school magazine. And they didnt even publish that !! ..That's how bad i was at art !! It's a different issue that a cousin who used my idea and butter paper to trace out another design got his published
... Life is so unfair!!

Ok, now back to what this post is actually about..When i was in school Dad got me this T-shirt from Rome- The land of liberated people.. I am all for sporting Phoren T-shirts.. What better way to show off to friends that your dad was a globe trotter and that you belonged to the elite crowd that wore only phoren tshirts ...

Alas, fate had different plans for me .. The t-shirt had this dude who was, ahem .. not fully clothed. I mean he was baring it all. This dude obviously (in a state of trance ) was trying to reach out to another clothed-old dude and somehow forgotten
to slip on his underwear and pjs before the meeting..This t-shirt arrived in my life at a very impressionable age when the mind is filled with a lot of why's, how's and what's. I could have chosen to shrug of my embarassment , but somehow chose to blush when i showed off my phoren goods to friends who came over home.

This t-shirt gestated in my wadrobe for almost 2 years , when mom threatened one day that if i didnt wear it , she would use it for wiping the kitchen slab.. so, we convened a meeting to discuss to implications of giving up my nude-dude t-shirt.The convention went on and on for hours with us debating the pros and cons of commiting such a horrendous act.

" How can you treat art as rag cloth?" Asked a friend.

" Michelangelo would turn in his grave" Emphatised another. That's when i got to know that the painting was by Michelangelo.

Finally a Kind soul suggested that we paint an underwear on the nude dude. Till date , i think this girl has the aatma of Michelangelo. Its a different issue that she sold out to commercialism and designs shrink wraps for a living !! So, our friend paints a white contraption on the nude-dude.

Another Kind soul suggested that the Contraption looked like a "langot"(loin cloth)
and that we should be more creative. The least we could do to a masterpiece , she said. So, another sweet soul painted pink polka dots on the Said-Langot making the former nude-dude look like a gay dude.. (oh , yeah we knew what gay meant those days!!)..

Finally satisfied with the handiwork, it was decided that i wear it to an outing the following week...Wear i did, feeling really nervous and sceptical.

" Dont worry , di.. nobody knows art. None will know abt the nude-dude."quipped sweet michelangelo's soul , trying to reassure me.

We walk into the movie theatre and this guy (must have been in his late 20's) looks at me

" Nice T-shirt. Isnt it supposed to have that guy in the nude?" He said Grinning ear to ear.

People told me later that i blushed the colour of Tomato.Though, i think its difficult for someone of my colouring to blush a tomato red !.

Ah, well.How was i supposed to know that the nude-dude painting was that famous..!!That was the last time the nude-dude t-shirt was sighted...

The things that we do in the heat of our youth ;-)

Tuesday, March 3

How Random Do u want me to get ?

Yipee .. i got a new blog template... black and white, incidentally happen to be my fav colours !! The darn thing didn't support all my old widgets and hence lost my jukebox. Also had to painstakingly construct my blog roll ..
Shayari tagged me a while back on 25 random things about me..Copy paste effort from FB..Here goes...

1. I hate creepy crawlies of any proportion and refuse to coexist with them.
2. I have started to enjoy cooking lately , thanx to Mallika badrinath.
3. I am idealistic beyond belief and think i take myself too seriously at times.
4. I dig humour in any form - on legs,in books .. everywhere..
5. I wish i had money to buy all the books in the world.As a corollary dream too much..
6. Insincerity and disrespect for other's time puts me off
7. I love the smell of wet earth after a summery shower.
8. As much as i love sunny days, i love to read a book with a cup of hot chocolate on a rainy day..
9. I am lazy and a routine-postponer
10 I love children and want to start a creche someday.
11.I love cinnamon in anything edible.
12.I think illayaraja is GOD and the only GOD there is
13.I get unconfortable talking about myself and prefer listening to people talk.
14.I love pretty things , blue things and pretty blue things like blue china, blue skies ..
15.I can spend hours looking at the waves splashing against the shore.
16.I love mom's cooking and think she is the best cook, ever !!
17. I am very protective about people i love and will go to any lengths to see them happy.
18.I dont forgive or forget easily. I wish i could.
19.I love dancing and tend to forget everything else when i am dancing.
20.I love playing 1 hour trial arcade and marble popping games on the net.
21.I hate driving and get tempted to use unparlimentary language when people honk unnecessarily.I often give into temptation.
22.I am impulsive and always pick up chocolates and knick knacks at super market counter even if i dont need them..
23.I cry when i hear a sappy story. Time after time.
24. I am addicted to shopping.
25.Sometimes,i think i am still a 5 year old deep inside . And i mean that in a good way