Thursday, February 11

The crabby watchman



I scowl at the crabby watchman.I can see him growling at me,like a tiger.A wounded tiger.The hubby complains that the "Crabby Watchman" has an attitude problem.I agree and crib some more."The crabby watchman" seems ancient.Skin wrinkled,he hobbled around.It seemed like he had contempt for everyone,the whole universe.Never a smile.Never a kind word.

Yet,we notice that he doesn't speak much.Hubby says he probably doesn't understand what we say.I let out a bouquet of expletives in honour of "The crabby watchman".We also notice that he has the most"dead" eyes we have seen on a human being.We call him weird.Weird,for having eyes like a stagnant cesspool.

I ask him for a favour."The crabby watchman"barks at me and waves concepts of "I am not your servant,empty your own trash" at me.I run to hubby to crib.He agrees, without me telling him that "The crabby watchman is a pain".I smile,knowing that the hubby empathizes with me.

We sit in the car and wait for the gate to open."The crabby watchman" doesn't show any signs of opening the gate.We cuss again.We discuss the duties of a watchman.And,finally open our gate ourselves.

8:30 PM.Our "Crabby Watchman" retires.He has had a long day.Weighed down by physical labour of gates not being opened and trash not being emptied.His "nest" is made up of bales of discarded clothing.We can hear his soft snores when we return at 2:00AM from a movie.He is visibly disturbed at the ruckus we create.He pulls up his bedsheet and snoozes again.We cuss again.

The next morning,"The crabby watchman" wakes me at 6:00 AM to give me the Electricity card.Do i detect a snigger when i fumble with my words?.I cuss and complain.Old men, i say.

Pongal."The crabby watchman" says to us "Don't you give any money for pongal ?".Hubby sighs,cusses and pulls out a 50 rupee note.We don't like the guy or his audacity.We don't want to give him any baksish."the crabby watchman" frowns his thanks.

A day passes.A week passes.A month passes.We barely notice that "The crabby watchman" is no longer "not" opening gates for us.We notice a new watchman.Hubby wants to know where the Old crabby man was.

The watchman tells us -He is gone.Dead.Heart attack.He has been gone for more than a month.

We didn't know.

Hubby feels bad.I feel bad.We knew he was unhappy.We should have been nice to him.Unexpectedly,i feel a lone tear trickling down my cheek.

We were busy with our lives.Hubby says.

We were indifferent and selfish.I say.

We promise to be nice to each other.To people we love.To people we dont know.To people who are mean to us.They cant help what they are,he says.Life is so weird ,i say.He nods.

"The crabby watchman" has affected us.Visibly.

What can be done now?.Help me pack my bag.The Hubby says.

I move on to help him pack.I have moved on.

70 years of life.

All we give him are a dozen scowls,a bunch of expletives,10 minutes of our mind space and a lone tear.Didn't he deserve better?.

Doesn't any human being deserve better ?.Unexpectedly again,while i am typing this,another tear falls on my laptop.

I didn't do enough.Never again.Never again would a life go unappreciated.I tell myself.

Rest in peace,Dear Crabby Watchman.I realize that i don't know his name.Even now.We are sorry.And we mean it.I say.

These are the nicest words i have shared with him.ever.

I move on..To my buring upma.

12 comments:

Smita said...

:-(

Seriously in our believe that we are paying him he should give us service we forget the humane part of the whole thing!!!

WhatsInAName said...

That's a very touching post. but its Ok... It is not your fault or mistake that you were rude with the watchman. Wasn't he also doing the same? agreed he was unhappy but then taking out negativity all the while only begets negativity. So, don't blame yourself. Each man is born with his karma.

Veens said...

I was just about thinking how I crib all the time about my mail not doing her work properly.. or many other things.
Your post was touching, brought the long lost sense of appreciation for another life that was forgotten for a while. I hope to be nicer from now on :)

Deeps said...

Bhargavi, it was perfectly normal for you to have reacted and harbored that negative impression for your watch man. We all react that way when people are rude to us. So dont be hard on yourself.

May his soul in rest in peace.

Bedazzled said...

Smita..possibly,yeah.

WIAN..what he was doing was also not correct,still the heart doesnt listen to logic.. it dances to it's own tune. I thought abt the negativity part too .. sometime when i am very pissed with something,i tend to be that way too .. all closed up and frowny...maybe he had gone thru a lot ! .. i have come across so many old men & women like that ..its as if all the years of disspointment starts weighing down on them after a point

Veens..Are all maids like this !! i crib abt mine too .. guess its ok ;-)

Deeps..i hope he finds peace in his restingplace.

Aaarti said...

There are so many ppl we go by in life,some of whom we wouldnt give the time of the day too..and yet when they are gone, we feel sad... !!!

Saurbh said...

That's a very relevant post ...the fact that it was captured here from an actual discernment of your life makes you quite an empathic writer

vimmuuu said...

touch panneetten ma, touch panneetten !!!

Bedazzled said...

Arti.. yup,true

Saurbh..welcome here.Thanks for the nic words.

Vimal..adangu!

Saltwater Blues said...

But you are happy with the new watchman, yes?

Smitha said...

That was so touching. and sad..

May his soul rest in peace..

Bedazzled said...

saltwater.. not been around home after the new watchman started work.. i am sure he is ok :-)

Smitha.. hope so!!!