Thursday, May 6

Wanted...



No,this is not that kind of a post.. though the man of the house keeps reminding me that many many moons ago i was on a website (matrimonial types) with these very same words etched on the screen.. Arial font 12 ,caps,justified,no indent.

WANTED GROOM .. The page said extolling the fine virtues of yours truly ( fair,tall and god fearing) .Of course i am all these things and more.:-).A much airbrushed photo accompanied the profile..If you ask me,advertising oneself on pages that say "Wanted Groom" is not exactly ego-boosting.So,i have been desperately trying to figure out if there are any remaining traces of that phase of my life which i think is best forgotten..And i am happy to report that all records have been obliterated!! Thank God !!.

Incidentally,the other day the Man was throwing his weight around and was telling me that if he had chosen to put his airbrushed pic on a site like that,he would have snagged golden tambram girls.. He also mentioned that the entire tambram community would have been galvanised into action to accquire him as the son-in-law.. Umm ,the Man is a lot of things,but airbrush or not,i doubt if the frenzy that he described so vividly would have happened... He has promised to post his anonymous profile on the said sites to see if he is still as eligible as he thinks.. Aiyooo !!! what dysfunctional behaviour,no?

Also,i have successfully digressed from what i wanted to write in the first place.. Pray tell me how does one make the Man go to the gym.. We are very faithful customers of Talwakars and pay the annual membership every year in a bid to get off those extra inches.. All that is fine,except that the Man has not seen the insides of the gym in he last 6 months .. Some poor admin girl( who is obviously overworked ) keeps calling from time to time,demanding why he isn't paying them a visit..As if this were some social visit.. If i were the owner of that Talwakars,i would be happy if some guy didnt turn up after paying the annual membership.. Less electricity used ..Did i mention that i am a sadistic capitalist?.

What can i say ? .. I have tried everything from pouring water on the Man's head to rouse him to droning in his ears to dressing prettily.How does my dressing prettily make a difference,you ask?.If you are married,you'll know.If you are not married, I'll spare you of the horror that takes place after marriage.. You'll figure out soon..

So, will some kind soul please tell me how i can get the man to haul his copious surface area to the said gym.I assure you,you'll be of great service to mankind..

And,the title should actually have been " Wanted Ideas"..

18 comments:

Violet said...

I had the same problem with my husband, he went for jogging sometimes but when you come back from work, jogging seems really boring. So we joined a swimming complex. It's been 2 months and even though we dont go everyday, we do go for 3-4 days a week. I swim too, that way he doesn't get bored. Besides swimming is so much fun :)

Smita said...

Feed him with delicious food!!! Feed him with loads of cheese!!!
Once his paunch is out tell him he isn't attractive anymore and u r planning to go back on the matrimonial site!!!

May be that will awaken him ;)

Kals said...

I don't have an idea to help you out, but just want to tell you I enjoyed reading this fun post! :D

Deeps said...

LOL!! Smita's suggestion sounds perfect :D :D

vimmuuu said...

Get him a Medium sized Tshirt for him and ask him to wear it in front of you !! and if that receptionist wants him at the gym, then theres something else that you need to worry about :D :D :D :D :D

Guhahahahhahahahahaha !!!!!

Bedazzled said...

violet..wow!! u get to make him go atleast 3-4 times a week.. i can barely manage once a month !! ..this one shuns any kind of physical activity .. any actvity other than lifting tv remote that is

Smita.. oh,he is past the paunch stage.. doesnt seem to be making any difference..going back to matrimonial site sounds even nightmarish for me ..

Kals.. thanks.

Deeps..just that it doesnt work with this one

Vimmuu.. u've met the guy.. do u think a medium size t-shirt will unfazzle the guy ?? :-(.. good point abt the receptionist thingie..sooper moolai unakku !!

Smita said...

Find a gorgeous in-shape boy friend and flaunt him in front of the paunch bearing hubs!! Period!!

bouncingbubble said...

actually,looks like he is helping himself. Make sure he puts up a recent full size pic in the matri site, so lack of response would indeed make him run to the gym.

Jokes apart, you know what makes the man of this house run to the gym. Me being obsessed with my exercise routine. Guilty conscience makes wonders me telling u.

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Dhanya said...

Thank God my fiance is quite health conscious (for now anyway)... But who knows what the future holds ;)

Bedazzled said...

smita...gorgeous boyfriend??? *drools*:-)... this is a good one !!

BB.. i routinely and regularly tell him about my morning walk to make him feel guilty,but he doesnt seem to get motivated by my flab conquering !! ;-(

Booklover..OF course!!.. i would love to be part of the site.. mailed you..

Dhanya... keep a tab,woman.The first few years they are on their feet.. after that..let me not scare u !!;-)

nishitak said...

Really wicked idea:

put up his non-airbrished pics on the matrimonial site. Create a number of fake profiles with photos of pretty girls.Make some comments hinting that if he loses x kilos, he is in with a chance :)

That said, I will be coming back to reading other folks comments, to see if I get some ideas to get my hub to go to the gym!

Bedazzled said...

Nishita.. ha ha !! should try that !! really neat idea !!

WhatsInAName said...

do post the part 2 whenever you succeed. I will be waiting. Have a similar specimen at home ;)

Swaram said...

Woww! Smita seems to hv a lot of ideas ;)

Bedazzled said...

WIAN..actually i already have succeeded .. i cant really claim that it was because of my paining him.. but miraculously he has started going to the gym..

Swaram.. yeah.Welcome here

Vaishnavi said...

!!! I need those same ideas. Only in this case for me. I need to haul ass to the gym before work and just don't have the energy :( It's great to have you back :)

Bedazzled said...

Vaishnavi.. lol!! i know its really difficult !!! thanks ;-)