Thursday, May 6
No,this is not that kind of a post.. though the man of the house keeps reminding me that many many moons ago i was on a website (matrimonial types) with these very same words etched on the screen.. Arial font 12 ,caps,justified,no indent.
WANTED GROOM .. The page said extolling the fine virtues of yours truly ( fair,tall and god fearing) .Of course i am all these things and more.:-).A much airbrushed photo accompanied the profile..If you ask me,advertising oneself on pages that say "Wanted Groom" is not exactly ego-boosting.So,i have been desperately trying to figure out if there are any remaining traces of that phase of my life which i think is best forgotten..And i am happy to report that all records have been obliterated!! Thank God !!.
Incidentally,the other day the Man was throwing his weight around and was telling me that if he had chosen to put his airbrushed pic on a site like that,he would have snagged golden tambram girls.. He also mentioned that the entire tambram community would have been galvanised into action to accquire him as the son-in-law.. Umm ,the Man is a lot of things,but airbrush or not,i doubt if the frenzy that he described so vividly would have happened... He has promised to post his anonymous profile on the said sites to see if he is still as eligible as he thinks.. Aiyooo !!! what dysfunctional behaviour,no?
Also,i have successfully digressed from what i wanted to write in the first place.. Pray tell me how does one make the Man go to the gym.. We are very faithful customers of Talwakars and pay the annual membership every year in a bid to get off those extra inches.. All that is fine,except that the Man has not seen the insides of the gym in he last 6 months .. Some poor admin girl( who is obviously overworked ) keeps calling from time to time,demanding why he isn't paying them a visit..As if this were some social visit.. If i were the owner of that Talwakars,i would be happy if some guy didnt turn up after paying the annual membership.. Less electricity used ..Did i mention that i am a sadistic capitalist?.
What can i say ? .. I have tried everything from pouring water on the Man's head to rouse him to droning in his ears to dressing prettily.How does my dressing prettily make a difference,you ask?.If you are married,you'll know.If you are not married, I'll spare you of the horror that takes place after marriage.. You'll figure out soon..
So, will some kind soul please tell me how i can get the man to haul his copious surface area to the said gym.I assure you,you'll be of great service to mankind..
And,the title should actually have been " Wanted Ideas"..