Thursday, February 3

Puffy thingies.. I'm out to get you!

Image from :

Our bean bag sat deflated and flaccid like some limp, shapeless animal. We pitied the poor fellow ,but waited for him to wear himself out more and die a natural death.In the last 4 years,he's faithfully supported many butts and has served us well.We felt bad that we had to let him go.Then,someone told us about refills available to revive dying bean bags and we were excited that our friend would be saved.

We had no idea how treacherous and painful the whole process would be .. It ranks among the top 3 most challenging things I've ever done in my life .You think I'm exaggerating?

In our state of unbridled wide-eyed fascination for the magic of "beans",we inverted the humongous sack of beans into our limp friend.Coffee with Karan was on and we momentarily got carried away by some bitchy exchange on the screen, hoping that our friend would get plumper by the minute with the beans getting pumped into him.A few minutes later,we sensed something rubbery rolling around our feet.Hallucination?

No. Blasted beans all over the floor.Merry and Round. White monsters. Mocking us.

How the hell did they slip out,we asked ourselves.

KJO was the culprit,he made us lose focus,I said.

That's bull. The opening was too small, the spouse opined.

It was then that I saw what had been staring us us all along. The opening was too small and this bean-diarrhea was bound to happen.

I am convinced now that the small slit is a private joke of the bean bag manufacturer. Constructed that way to test people's patience. And let's not even talk about how slimy these beans are..They get blown away,with the tiniest of movements by anything within a one mile radius around them(ok,slight exaggeration here.)

Result: We had fractals of bean design on the floor, that got changed every time we moved toward it.Our mosaic-ed white floors added to our misery,making giving the white monsters the camouflage they needed. It was then then that we realized that the cutesy-looking ,otund shape was just a ploy to fool us. The beans were mean patience-testing objects of torture.

Armed with our knowledge about beans,we decided to forgo the KJO episode and channeled our energies into picking the stray orphans off the floor.Half an hour passed and we were still on our knees fishing individual beans and transferring them into the bag.

"I never knew it was so difficult." The spouse added deflatedly.

I didn't have to say anything.

Three fourth of the sack still stared back us sarcastically as if it was saying "Hey losers,just 1/4th down.Education blunts common sense,you know."

We flinched. We couldn't let a bunch of freaking thermocol make us look stupid. We bought out a bunch of ammunition to counter our enemy.

An saucepan.

"Too wide."


"Too small"

Funnel made out of paper

"Freaking slow"

Finally,settled for a small-necked utensil after rummaging through my kitchen.

An hour later,after several hundred beans "inadvertently" fell out off the utensil,the task was finally done.

We studied our handiwork with satisfaction. Our friend did look a little limp,but what the heck, he was the result of our hardwork. I don't recall having toiled this much ever ..

A week has passed since the refill and every day I find a new bunch of runaway beans tucked in the most unexpected places. I found a few inside the washing machine yesterday!. The nerve of those idiots. So,in a way my house has become like some treasure island.

Next time around,we've decided to outsource the job to someone with a better hand-eye coordination or throw the damn bag away and get one with a bigger slit.

Oh,I hate the sight of those tiny,white monsters now.They taunt me in my dreams too. No,I'm not giving up till my house is exterminated of all traces of those irritating, puffy thingies.

It's a war and may the best side win!


Smita said...

hahahahahaha.....happened with us too but thankfully it was a Saturday with hubby alone at home and with the daunting task ;)

WhatsInAName said...

Lol! I can so understand your plight. My bean bag too has started breathing out those darned beans which I find scattered at corners of the room. Time for me to get refill but ours is a primitive model and hence needs outsourcing only! Thank God! ;)

Just Mom said...

Similar tale here but ours was a deliberate act - my daughter, aged 4 and her friend, aged 5, unzipped the bean bag and took out all the beans to make "snow" inside the house. What a mess! I remember squirting them down with a spray bottle of water trying to tame them and scoop them up. Daughter is almost 19 and this story still gets told any time we see a bean bag.

Bedazzled said...

smita.. ha ha ..poor thing!lucky you managed to escape..

WIAN..gosh,your beanie is in need of AR soon..I didnt know they made bags without that slit.Saves you from a lot of misery ,actually :-)

Justmom..aww..making snow sounds so cute !! i know it wouldnt have been fun for you though..That story is darn cute.. no wonder it's still doing the rounds.

A said...

You made is funny....I do not have this problem though

Suko said...

I never heard of refilling bean bag chairs before! But, what an ordeal!!

Anonymous said...

Ooooh! I know them! Luckily, my bean bag has a nice long zipper. The beans stil are a problem when I decided to wash the cover...

Bedazzled said...

A..Good for you !
Suko.. yeah,it was an ordeal..,washing is something i havent done before,so that's a whole new monster I dont know about yet ;-)

LindyLouMac said...

Oh this is so funny, I recall when our girls were much younger they had beanbags in their playroom, yes if those white polystyrene beans escape they go everywhere!

Bikramjit said...

ha ha ha aha NOW THAT WAS FUNNY and made me laugh out loud thank you .. a miserable day now looks good
also thanks I aint buying those :)


Anonymous said...

Lol! Our LazyBoy is due for a refill and this post is no way encouraging:) Outsource I will! With the mosaic flooring here too, I haven't the slightest motivation to thrust the broom into the corners!! Can't dump it as its the fav. recline of all the Vs:) Thanks for the warning!

Bedazzled said...

Lindy.. thanks..Those beans are painful !

Bikram.. Glad I could make you laugh..It's actually not that bad .. just when they age they become an issue

Life.. ha ha ha.. scared all of you!!

Vaishnavi said...

You know in the beginning of the post I went yay! I can refill the beanie...but now I am not so sure :-/ I am so sorry you were taken for a ride by them vile things :)

Casey Freeland said...

I think I'd have to go with purchasing a new bean bag. I'd probably grab a blade of some sort and go nuts on that thing about halfway through the torture you described here. I just don't have that kind of patience



Priya Venkat Designs said...

Will you be offended if I laugh???
Oops...too late...I already am. Your encounter with the bean beads has been documented very well and very humorously. Nice writing.

Matangi Mawley said...

LOL!! :) good one....

similar... but not very similar ordeal happened to us... like 3 years back, when my granny's sister visited us... she got curious abt our bean bag... she sat on it.. and tested it like-- for hours... she finally got impatient and unzipped the poor thing... for a more closer 'examination'! i got so angry! for it was a gift frm my real close friend! bt had to keep my temper down... after all-- she was 85! and i didnt wanna cut myself off from my dad's Will so early!

sweet memories! :)

well worded...
keep writing!

Bedazzled said...

Vaishnavi! You need to plot well to outwit them !!.

Casey..I dont think i normally have this kind of patience.. but getting outwitted by a bunch of round things just got to me :-)

Priya .. You are laughing at me :-(!Go on.. i would be offended if you didn't laugh ! :-)

Mathangi.. ha ha ha! your bean-bag incident takes the cake ! I remember my granny looking strangely at the thing initially also ;-)

Misha said...

Hahahaha That was hilarious!
I can totally relate to bean-bag related disasters. Last year, a friend of mine got her leg stuck inside the bean bag and she couldn't come out. It was funny and sad(because the bean bag was destroyed!) at the same time. I did not even know it was possible to get stuck in a bean-bag.

Anonymous said...

I just hate those bean bags, never was comfortable sitting in something that decides it wants to move around, supposedly trying to make me more comfortable!
All I ask is how do I know it hasn't got a mind of its own?
After reading this, am glad of my phobia!

Bedazzled said...

ha ha! a leg stuck inside a beanbag??!! i am going bonkers just imagining that. :-)

Celeste Goulding said...

A post about bean bags! Amazingly, 70 people have come to my blog from this page on your blog. I have no idea why as there seems to be no link but there you go! One of the mysteries of life! :)

Bhargavi said...

Celeste .. wow!My top hit post also incidentally happens to be this one.The only explanation I can think of is that I used have a blogroll before and your blog was on it.. so maybe someone who vists my blog also visits yours. The mysteries of life and internet !

Priya said...

Haha, this is hilarious. I hate beanbags, my sister has three at her place - but I'm like Monica, if I sit in one, I'm stuck there forever. But I don't beans running away has happened to any of her chairs yet. I did have an unfortunate bean toy, that my cat tore apart. Cleaning up had been a nightmare!